I had to stop and get gas on the way to work this morning. As I stood pumping liquid gold into my tank, a female voice interrupted the musaq: "Eat together as a family. Don't allow your children to eat in their rooms. Turn off the TV and enjoy a meal together." Etc. etc.

As much as I agreed with what the voice said, I thought I was suddenly in 1984.

The gas slowed to a stop, not chunked off because the tank was full. I looked up at the meter. $75. I had hit my legal limit for gas at this tank.

The gas tank had taken my attention from the female voice, but I think she said, "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated."

I got back in the minivan and cranked up "La Grange." If only this were an Indian and I could just escape into the Badlands for a while.