Tonight, my three-year-old daughter announces, to my wife's dismay, "Daddy, we got you a trampoline for your birthday and its downstairs at Gran's house."

Yesterday, our neighbors were out walking their new puppy. As my daughters squealed with delight at the sight of the bundle of white fur, my five-year-old son declares, "Oh, great, dad! Now they've got two dogs to poop in our yard."